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Dose for 26th Apr,2006

A man comes to the doctor with a long history of migraine
headaches. When the doctor does his history and physical, he
discovers that his poor patient has had practically every
therapy known to man for his migraines and STILL no improve-
ment.

“Listen”, says the doc “I have migraines, too.., and the
advice I’m going to give you isn’t really anything I learned
in medical school, but it’s advice that I’ve gotten from my
own experience. When I have a migraine, I go home, get in a
nice hot bathtub, and soak for a while. Then I have my wife
sponge me off with the hottest water I can stand…especially
around the forehead. This helps a little. Then I get out of
the tub, take her into the bedroom and, even if my head is
killing me, I force myself to have sex… and almost always
the headache is immediately gone. Give it a try, and come
back and see me in six weeks.”

Six weeks later, the patient returns with a big grin. “Doc!
I took your advice and it works! it REALLY WORKS! I’ve had
migraines for 17 years and this is the FIRST time anyone has
ever helped me!”

“Well”, says the physician, “I’m glad I could help.”

“By the way, Doc,” the patient adds, “You have a really nice
house.”

————

The new inmate at the mental hospital announced in a loud voice
that he was the famous British naval hero, Lord Nelson. This
was particularly interesting, because the institution already
had a ‘Lord Nelson.’ The head psychiatrist, after due
consideration, decided to put the two men in the same room,
feeling that the similarity of their delusions might prompt
an adjustment in each that would help in curing them. It was
a calculated risk, of course, for the two men might react
violently to one another, but they were introduced and then
left alone and no disturbance was heard from the room that
night.

The next morning, the doctor had a talk with his new patient
and was more than pleasantly surprised when he was told:
“Doctor, I’ve been suffering from a delusion. I know now that
I am not Lord Nelson.”

“That’s wonderful,” said the doctor.

“Yes,” said the patient, smiling demurely, “I’m Lady Nelson.”

——————

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