Take heart, anyone among you who believes you are technologically
challenged, you “ain’t seen nuthin’ yet.” These are actual complaints made
by computer owners.
1. Compaq is considering changing the command “Press Any Key” to “Press
Return Key” because of the flood of calls asking where the “Any” key is.
2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to
control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag
the mouse was packaged in.
3. A Dell technician advised his customer to put his troubled floppy back in
the drive and close the door. The customer asked the tech to hold on and was
heard putting the phone down, getting up and crossing the room to close the
4. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn’t get his computer to fax
anything. After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician discovered the
man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor
screen and hitting the “send” key.
5. Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboar! d no
longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap and water
and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and washing
6. A confused caller to IBM was having trouble printing documents. He told
the technician that the computer had said it “couldn’t find printer” The
user had also tried turning the computer screen to face the printer but that
his computer still couldn’t “see” the printer.
7. An exasperated caller to Dell Tech Support couldn’t get her new Dell
Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in, the
technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her
response, “I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happens.” The
“foot pedal” turned out to be the computer’s mouse.
8. A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. The
tech asked her if she was running it under “Windows.” The woman responded,
“No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man sitting
in the cubicle next to me is under a window and his printer is working
9. Tech Support: “O.K. Bob, let’s press control and escape keys at the same
time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the
letter “P” to bring up the Program Manager.” Customer: “I don’t have a “P”.
Tech: “On your keyboard, Bob.” Customer: “What do you mean?” Tech: “”P” on
your keyboard, Bob.” Customer: “I’m not going to do that!!!”